


maybe i'll just study you

by odekarnstein



Category: Carmilla (Web Series), Carmilla - J. Sheridan Le Fanu
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Two Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-23
Updated: 2015-08-29
Packaged: 2018-04-16 20:14:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4638720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/odekarnstein/pseuds/odekarnstein
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carmilla just needs to figure out math, and Laura.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You hope it always isn't like this.

**Author's Note:**

> I came up with a little drabble in math but it turned into this so enjoy.
> 
> Tw: Smoking, drinking, and mention of death

You’re terrible at math. You don’t know why you decided to take an advanced math but the consoler said you were going to need another credit to finish high school. Really, they put you in advanced math, they could of easily put you in an honors lit or honors history. Even science. Nope, they put you in an advanced math. The one class you were bound to fail.

You started rereading Shakespeare at the beginning of the school year, you had a bet with some nerd that you couldn’t read all of his plays in a year. So one fifty dollar, five pound book later, you’re halfway through Romeo and Juliet. It’s your least favorite because it reminds you of someone but you really wanna win this bet and get the fifty dollars back.

You’re at act two, part five, when the girl behind you nudges you, “Um, the teacher told us to pair up.”

You sigh and turn around, she’s cute, she had blonde hair and the way the light hit her eyes made them look golden. She smiled when you made eye contact. A little to happiness and rainbows for you.

“What are we doing, cutie?”

She furrows her brow, “Did you not listen?”

“Sorry, cupcake, I was in the middle of Juliet worrying about every little thing.” You sigh, you really should be listening.

“My name is Laura. And we’re suppose to answer these questions.” Laura held up a slip of paper, it had a list of icebreaker questions that you could really care less about.

You turn around and there’s a copy of the syllabus and the worksheet tucked under you book.

“What’s your favorite color?”

“Black,” You answer blandly, “And you?”

“Yellow.”

You ask the next question, “Who is your favorite character?”

Laura looks like she’s about to have a panic attack, “Oh god, um, Buffy or Veronica Mars.”

“A vampire slayer and journalist?”

Laura shrugs, “I always need a mix. Who’s yours?”

“Dallas,”

“From?” She scribbles down her answer.

“The Outsiders.”

You get through a couple more questions before the bell rings, you scribble your name on top of the paper and give it to Laura.

“Turn that in for me would you?”

“Okay, Carmilla?”

You roll your eyes, “That’s my name.”

While you’re walking out of the classroom, she shouts about how she’s seen you preform at a party.

It really didn’t matter to you anymore.

~~~~

It’s a couple weeks later when you have your first problems with math. The first month had been a review of what you learned last year and you read through most of the teacher’s dull lectures. He likes to do projects and harder things in pairs and last week he announced that you would have a long-term partner. Of course you’re paired you with Laura.

She really was all sunshine and rainbows and hated when you rained on her parade. She was always nudging you to pay attention in class and was always asking questions. She always walked in with the tall ginger from the track team. All it was was disgusting heart eyes and really awkward compliments. You gagged when Xena announced that they would be a great team, she found you at end of the day and asked what was wrong with you in math.

Laura always bothered you with questions when you worked together. Like it was the first day of school. She knew Lafontaine, the nerd that placed the bet, and said that she thought they were right about the whole thing. You rolled your eyes and said you already finished Hamlet and started on his Sonnets.

Today you had a test that you didn’t bother to study for, which was going to kill you later. Everyone was turning the first page while you were still on the first problem. You basically bullshitted your way through it all. When everyone was turning it in and discussing answers, you shrugged and made Laura make that bunched up face when she gets annoyed. Two days later, you had a D- written in bold red letters at the top of your sheet and a note that said you had to talk after class because what you said was Unacceptable and inappropriate for the classroom.

Laura beamed when she got her grade back, a nice A and a a scribble that said Perfect score. You heard her talking about it to the girl who was always paranoid about dates and homework in the front. The girl congratulated her before they were out of earshot.

“I’ll give you a passing grade this semester if you join study group,” Your teacher said while shuffling through papers, “I need a note from your mother saying you are going too.”

You groaned, “C’mon, can’t I just do extra credit?”

“You are, and you’re failing that.”

He gave you a slip for your mother o sign and sent you to lunch. You left after Laura’s friend called you Carmsexy and tried to ask you out to homecoming, you heard will snicker in the background when you flicked his table off and slapped the giant puppy in the back of the head. Big red and Laura were walking back into the building while you walked out, the ginger yelled that you only had ten minutes to get to where you were going and back.

Once again, you could really care less.

~~~

The next day, you were exhausted. Maman yelled at you when you showed her the letter and asked why you couldn’t be like William. You argued about how you could really care less about what she wants to do with your life. She said you had potential but messed up in sophomore year when you met that girl. After getting lectured about that and fought back until Mattie showed up to pull you out of the room and started to ask what really happened before taking you to Sonic to get dinner and ice cream.

You complained about Laura and Xena, math, and you don’t have enough money to replace a part on your truck. You talk about why you miss when Mattie was around all the time and she confesses that she’s worried every time she gets a text from Will and when she drops you back off. You eat way to many tater tots and ask if you can stay at her house tonight. She smiles sadly and gives you some money, she has a business meeting in Washington tomorrow.

“Please, stay safe, kitten. You’ve got one year before you can move out. Try not to argue with Mother.” Mattie says when she hugs you. You nod and get out of the car and she waves when you turn back around right before you walk into the house. You watch her drive off until you can’t see the red sports car anymore.

After hearing Maman’s apology and telling her you were wrong, she signs the form and sends you to bed. She asks you to do better next time. You hear her on the phone when she starts to talk about your father. That she misses him and that she misses when you didn’t argue.

All the sudden these walls are too thin.

~~~

You get transfered into Honors Lit when your teacher tells you you’re to advanced for her class. You were happy until you walk into the class late and all of dimwit squad is huddled in a corner. Laura glances up from whatever game they were playing and smiles at you. You grin but glare when Agent Orange starts to talk about your truck. You hear her laughing about how beat up and you put headphones in and sit in the desk in the back corner of the room and read, hoping Aristotle’s theory of art wouldn’t fail you now.

You hope it always isn’t like this.

~~~

You get paired up with Laura in Literature too. She actually is the only student in the class that is brave enough to ask you for help when you went over old literature. Even though you guys piss each other off, you’re happy someone actually talks to you. You have to do a presentation on what you value most, which is stupid when it comes to a lit class but your teacher says it’ll help you in someway.

You talk about your truck. How it was your dad’s and was left to you when he died. You talk about how even when you couldn’t drive it you took care of it and all the road trips you’ve taken in it over the past summers. You talk about how you and your dad would take drives and you would play guitar in the passenger side and he would sing. You mention that it was his when he was in college and you plan to keep it working till something big happens.

Danny apologizes about what she said after class.

~~~

You’re in math again and practically pulling out your bangs while working on the homework. Laura notices, as always.

“You know you can just ask for help?” She says, looking over your shoulder.

You roll your eyes, “Mr. Voldenburg hates me, cutie, I think he would tell me the wrong things to make me fail.”

“He isn’t that bad,”

“He is when your most of family has been in his class at least once and messed up his system.”

Laura laughs, “You could always just ask me.”

“I’m not that good at math, but I don’t need that much help, creampuff.”

She mutters something about you being broody before getting back to her work. You almost ask her a for a couple problems but decide not to. Voldenburg asks how your studying is going when you turn in the paper. You shrug and he tells you you’re still failing if you don’t improve anytime soon. Which leads to another letter home and another argument. Mattie isn’t there to save you when Maman starts to yell about all the money she’s put into you.

You feel like you’re just another project to her.

~~~

Laura pulls you away from the door after literature one day, she starts to whisper about how Voldenburg asked her to tutor you. He’s figured out that your mom didn’t read the letters he sent home and knew you weren’t in a study group. He’s going to fail you if you don’t let Laura help.

You give Laura your number,

“Only because I have too.”

She squeals and gives you hug, in which you stand stiffly while she mumbles, “I knew you would,” into your chest.

A couple days later you’re bombarded with texts asking what you needed help on and when was the best time for you. She didn’t catch on to your one worded replies so you were stuck reading her texts most of the night.

You think about if she really cares or if she’s just doing it for pride.

~~~

You plan on Tuesdays and Thursdays to study at the coffee shop in town. She always orders a hot chocolate with two marshmallows and orders you a black coffee. She’s always there early too, and has a dopey grin on her face when you sit across from her. She starts off with a review of whatever lesson you did that day and then she goes over the homework. You always try to squeeze answers out of her. She still can’t stand you, she complains when you leave a ring on a piece of paper or when you read instead of listening to her.

One Thursday you show up early, Xena is sitting across from Laura in your usual spot. You figured out by now that she obviously sees her before you show up, you wouldn’t give her heart eyes like Clifford can. You walk up to the counter and order your usual black coffee and croissant. All the sudden Danny is standing up and shouting, she looks at you and you hold your hands up as she storms across the room. Laura asks her to come back to the table.

“You,” She grumbles, “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Hold up, Big Red, this is a public property,”

She looks back at Laura, “It sure seems like you’re following her,”

“Cupcake,” Laura looks at you with a blush, “Have you not told your girlfriend here you’re tutoring me?”

Laura flusters when you call Danny her girlfriend, Danny looks like she’s about to cry when Laura tells you Danny’s not her girlfriend.

 

Danny’s voiced cracked, “You’re tutoring her? I thought I told you to stay away from her,”

“I don’t need you to tell me what to do, Danny. I’ve got my dad for that. Plus it’s only for a couple hours, it’s not like we’re going out anywhere.”

“You shouldn’t. She’s trouble.”

“What the hell did I do?” You sneer, “Do you think I’m going to take Laura from you or something?”

Danny rubbed her temple, “Laura, she’s gonna hurt you I me-”

Laura stood up and pulled you both back to the table. You didn’t notice the scene you were creating in the middle of the coffee shop, people kept glancing at you once you sat back down. You glared back while Laura explained that she knows what she’s doing and doesn’t need help. Danny just glares at you when she leaves. She tells Laura not to call her and tells you she’ll come back if you hurt Laura.

Laura groaned and put her head on the table.

“I’m sorry, Carm.”

You shrug, “It’s not your fault Xena’s overprotective.”

Laura just keeps her head down for a couple minutes while you try to look at anything but her. She’s pretty upset. Sure, you don’t like Laura’s and Danny’s heart eyes but you never meant to mess it up between them. You get up and get Laura another hot chocolate, coming back you nudge her shoulder and ask her to grab her stuff and follow you. You see Danny while driving, she doesn’t realize it was you who honked and it sends Laura into a fit of giggles when she looks around. You take her somewhere that makes you happy, hoping it’ll do the same for her.

You don’t know why, but Laura trusts you.

~~~

After studying for an hour every Thursday, you find yourself driving somewhere new. The day her and the Ginger broke up, you took her to one of the beaches just out of town. Granted it was almost December but she enjoyed it. That night you find out she has a Polaroid camera and takes photos of what she really wants to remember. You find this out when your leaning against one of the changing buildings, smoking and you’re suddenly blinded by a flash of light and you hear Laura’s giggles. She shows you the photos she took of the sunset and of you just walking on the beach.

“You really want to keep these as your first break up?” You ask, the one of you smoking reminds you of your father. You never noticed that you so much like him. Laura stays quiet, she puts the photos in her bag.

You never really noticed how quiet she can be till now.

~~~

Laura invites you to a party a couple weeks later. You were smoking again. This time you decide to just drive and see where you end up. You were standing on the top of a parking tower two cities over. She tells you the party is Saturday and that you don’t have to bring anything. It’s Kirsch’s, he’s throwing it for the football team.

“So will you come?”

You sigh, “Maybe, Cupcake.”

~~~

You show up to the party late. You parked your truck two blocks back because you don’t want any drunk dimwits messing with it. When you walk in there’s some pop song playing through out the house and football payers everywhere. Will was here too, he left before you, you figured he had to set up or something. A couple boys wolf whistle when you walk through the living room. You see Laura, Lafontaine, and Perry outside. They’re talking to some guy who looks like he came from the 1860’s. You walk out and Laura immediately runs up to you and gives you a hug. She smells like honey and cheap beer, but you never noticed how sincere her hugs were. If that makes since.

“Hey, sundance,” You smirk.

She starts to laugh, “Sundance is new.”

“I started to think outside pastries.”

Lafontaine introduces you to J.P. He’s formal and talks like is actually is from the 1860’s. You tell him that and he asks if you just stepped out of the 1970’s. You roll your eyes and Laura laughs. At some point, someone handed you another beer, and another, and another. You weren’t as light as Laura but you were starting to get a buzz. You stepped out on the front porch without noticing Laura following you and jump when she asks how your night’s been, almost dropping your cigarette.

You laugh and she starts small talk with you. Somehow it turns from small talk to talking for an hour or so. About family and what happened, about annoying parents, and traveling and dreams. She smiled at you when you talked about books and she became so animated while trying to drunkenly explain Doctor Who.

Kirsch came out and offered the last beers, it was getting late and you didn’t want to push drinking anymore if you planned on driving home. Laura took one and thanked him. He glanced at you and you just shook your head. Laura asked if she could spend the night at your house, she didn’t want her dad to catch her drunk like this. You agree and she pulls the cigarette from your lips and takes a drag.

“Those things kill, you know?” You tell her when she gives it back.

She laughs, “You look fine to me.”

You hum and look at the sky, you never thought the stars could’ve shone brighter.


	2. i haven't been for a while, not until i met you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla figures out Laura.

Laura always talks to you in math now. You don’t mind, Voldenburg favors her to much to separate you two and she listens when he lectures. At least he thinks she does; she usually listens to your comments and giggles. It gives you chills when she does, because she’s usually sitting on her knees and her mouth is right behind your shoulder. In Lit she talks to you, but Ginger one and two are there. Danny will sit with you guys sometimes, but there;s still tension between what happened two months ago. She usually just pairs up and talks to some Elsie girl. Lafontaine will whisper to something to Perry, then she’ll slap their arm and Laura will turn red. You pretend not to notice for Laura’s sake.

You still go places, you moved it to Friday though, one day you stayed out to late and Laura’s dad grounded her for a week because of it. You convinced him to let you take her out for a week long trip on her birthday. He made you swear you weren’t sacrificing her to some cult and to text him every couple hours, not while driving though, to let him know where you were. He gave you gas money. You can tell why Laura is so selfless now.

When you tell her you talked to her dad, she looked like she was about to panic.

 

~~~

You and Laura are usually together when you can be. You don’t remember when it happened; one day she couldn’t stand you and the next she’s asking for a ride home from school. Her dad refuses to get her more than a bike n fear of her running away with someone. You laugh when she tells you this because, can’t she just run away with someone who already has a car?

You go to lunch at the Subway down the road with Lafontaine and Perry. You always just get a bag of chips and Laura gets a six inch sub and cookie. When she finishes eating she curls her pinky around yours under the table. The first time she did it you nearly choked, Lafontaine laughed and Perry freaked out. Laura just giggled and asked what happened. You glared at her but didn’t pull away your hand.

Danny still glares at you, but Laura has tried to stay on good terms with her. She gets defensive when Danny talks about the things you’ve done. Laura always says you’ve changed.

And for once you believe someone.

~~~

 

Maman doesn’t argue with you when you say you’re going to be gone for the week, she just nods, says stay safe, and keeps typing. You start to pack and you hear Will yell at the Xbox; before you go, you tell him that you’ll be gone, he just nods and says see you later. You make sure to run by the store and grab snacks, drinks, flowers, and extra paper or film or whatever for Laura’s camera. When you swing by to see Mattie, she gives you twenty bucks, a package for Laura, and a case of beer and a bottle of champagne, tells you to “Drink it responsibly.”

You give Laura her flowers when she opens the door, she hugs you and asks how you knew tulips where her favorite. You just smile. Your truck is still running behind you and you take her hand and yell to her dad that she’ll see him Sunday. He just yells stay safe and tells Laura he loves her.

Laura gets in the truck without question. As soon as you start taking back roads instead of the interstate she tries to pry information out of you. You stay quiet and just sing along to the song playing, you were deep in the woods and started listening to cassette tapes. Laura called you a “Indie loser” When she pulled the milk crate full of them out of your backseat.

“Low blow, Hollis.”

She giggled, “But it’s true.”

You pull back onto the interstate to find a rest stop for a restroom because Laura refuses to just pull over. You’re sitting in the bed of the truck, smoking a cigarette, when she comes back from inside the tourist center. She hands you a redbull and jumps up to sit next to you. You watch the sunset before starting to drive again. Laura somehow discovered an 80’s pop cassette and made you, let her play it. She fell asleep halfway through it and you have to pull over to get another tape when it ends.

There’s a photo of you on top of her purse when you look in the back seat. You’re looking up at the sky, you have the cigarette hanging from your lips and your eyes are bright.

You start to realize she notices your little things.

~~~

You reach the cabin by midnight, it’s on the top of a mountain and has a view of the town just a couple miles away and Laura points out how bright the sky is when she finally wakes up. You walk inside first, you know the place like the back of your hand even though you haven’t been inside in five years. A couple things have a layer of dust and the dining room light bulb is blown but it’s still just how you remember it.

It’s all one room besides the bathroom. There’s a queen sized bed in the corner and a bunk bed built into the wall next to it. The living room has an old tv and a leather couch, the kitchen is quaint but the dining room table can sit at least six; there’s a fireplace behind it. The far fall is made mainly of windows and has a door that leads to a porch with a hot tub.

Laura walks in and gasps, you smile when she gazes around. She acts like it’s worth a million dollars when she starts to talk about everything. She put her bag on the couch and started to explore, even though there wasn’t that much. She wondered over to the mantle of the fireplace, there were a couple picture frames laying face down. The first one she picked up made her beam. She showed it to you from across the room.

It was a picture of Mattie, your Father, and you in the middle of the woods. You were on your Father’s shoulders and Mattie arms were hooked around his waist while you all smiled at the camera.

“I was seven in that. Mattie, my sister, was twelve.” You smiled.

Laura sounded like she was somewhere else, “You look just like him.”

You were glad someone finally noticed.

~~~

You let Laura take the queen sized bed while you slept in the bottom bunk. You don’t remember it being this small.

You made her spaghetti for dinner and watched cartoons till three in the morning. She was annoyed at you for making her stay up that late, but she fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. You fell asleep too, but woke up a couple hours later when the sky started to brighten.

“Carm,” Laura squinted her eyes, “Come lay with me, you look uncomfortable.”

“I’m good over here, cutie,” Your voice was rough from singing so much yesterday.

Laura pulled back the blankets and opened her arms, “Here. I’m cold anyways.”

You groaned when getting up. Sleeping in a bed meant for a ten year old wasn’t the smartest idea. When you laid back down, Laura pulled the blankets back up over you. She wrapped her arms around your waist and nestled her head against the back of your neck; her breaths sent shivers down your spine.

“You know, I don’t even like smoking,” You mumble.

“Then why do you?”

“My dad used to, it makes me feel at home again,”

“You should tell me about him one day,” Her whispers were soft.

“Maybe,” You mumble.

You feel safe in her arms.

~~~

At noon you reluctantly pull yourself out of Laura’s arms and get ready for the day. She mumbles about some goldfish when you try to wake her up, and jumps up like shes about to punch you in the nose. When she’s finally up and ready, you take her out into the woods. She makes sarcastic comments about you being outside willingly the whole way.

You get her to be quiet when you take her hand and rub her thumb over her knuckles.

She’s pulling you along when you finally arrive at the clearing. It’s fairy tale worthy, the sun shines through the red and yellow leaves and hits the overgrown flowers and weeds perfectly. Laura runs around and takes pictures while you take a blanket and snacks out. She pulls you from where you were reading and makes you chase her around, you tackle her when she’s catching her breath and your hand is holding one of hers above her head. The light hits Laura’s face oh so, perfectly; making her hazel eyes turn gold. Your lips are so close and she blushes and you tickle her because neither of you were ready for going further than what you had.

Not yet at least.

You stayed in the meadow most of the afternoon. You give Laura your leather jacket when you have the picnic when she starts to shiver. She lays her head in your lap and makes you read your book out loud to her, _To Kill a Mocking Bird_. She complains about your lack of voice for the characters and when you try to give them voices she just laughs until she cries. She only had one beer.

She chases after you when you take her camera and take a picture of her sleeping in your lap.

When your around her, you get to be a kid again.

~~~

Laura makes breakfast for dinner that night. She claims you guys probably won’t eat breakfast for the rest of the week and you needed to try her french toast at least once.

“It’s surprisingly good,” You say between mouthfuls, “Well… for you at least.”

She slaps your arm but kisses your cheek in thanks. You watch movies, crappy vampire ones that you could think of a million other things you’d rather watch. She enjoys it though, and it is her birthday present. Midway through the third one, you wrap your arm around her shoulders and pull hr closer; at the end of the fifth one, she’s asleep and you carry her to bed.

Curling up behind her that night.

~~~

You wake up to the smell of something burning the next morning and immediately jump out of bed. Looking around the corner to see Laura trying to pry grilled cheese off of a frying pan. She looks at you apologetically and blushes.

You forgot you were only wearing a bra and boxers.

~~~

Laura finally gets you to use the hot tub. When she comes out wearing her bathing suit she packed “Just in case” You try not to stare, for a diet of hot coco, cookies, and grape soda; she’s in really good shape. You blubber about it for a moment before looking down and rubbing your face. She laughs at you and has a cocky smirk when she talks about the krav mag classes she’s in and all the yoga she does.

By the end of the night you have a crick in your neck from showing her the constellations.

~~~

You wake up in the middle of the night to her having a nightmare. She talks about some girl in a white dress that reminded her of you. She lets you hold her and play with her hair till she falls back asleep.

The next morning you tell her no more hot chocolate before bed and she sadly agrees.

~~~

The evening of the final day of your retreat, you pull her even deeper into the woods. She complains about all the hiking so you offer her a piggyback ride.‘When she finally trust you enough to actually get on your back, she start to squeal when you run; you threaten to drop her when she makes twilight references.

You reach a cliff face on the other side of the property; there’s a tree house in one of the trees closest to it. Laura gasps and jumps off you to climb inside, it isn’t that high up because Mattie was scared of heights when she was younger but you begged for your own little area. There’s a levee system that hangs outside the widow facing the cabin. You put the bag and cooler in it and climb up. Laura raves on about how she always wanted a tree house but her father said that they were to dangerous. You laugh but point out the window, there are deer in the meadow you were in the second day. She squeals and asks where her camera is.

After taking a couple pictures she smiles and takes your hand. You pull the champagne out of the cooler. She asks why you didn’t pull it out when she had to drink cheap beer over a bonfire.

“Champagne should be served formally,” You sigh, “Not over a couple flaming logs and ghost stories.”

She laughs, “In a tree house? So formal.”

“Sometimes it’s not the place, but what it means when you’re serving it.”

She looks at you confusingly while you pour it. When she first takes a sips she starts to rant how expensive this must’ve been and how you shouldn’t have. When you finally get her to quite, you start to tell her about your father. How Mattie was just a half sister from another marriage, and how she treated you like a princess when he passed. You talked about how happy your family was, when Maman didn’t drown herself in work and Will was actually sweet; when your family would come out to the cabin once a month just to be together. You tell her about when your father never came home from his business trip, that’s why you drive anywhere and everywhere; why you worry about Mattie and Maman whenever they step onto the plane. How William has to calm you down when Mattie forgets to text you when she lands.

Laura smiles sadly at you when you tell her about coming out and putting you and your mother’s relationship on the line while your father took you in and made sure to educate himself on your anxiety. You tell her about the time when Will was a baby and Mattie, your father, and you snuck off to drive and sing for a night; when you fell in love with the road.

“You were happy,” She says.

You smile, “Yeah, and I haven’t been for a while. Not until I met you.”

She leans her head on your shoulder and for a while, you just watch the sunset and the stars shine. She sits up and turn towards you and _you’re so close to her._ You can feel her breath and you both lean forward and kiss gently. You reach up to cup her jaw and realize _this is all you ever wanted._ She curls her fingers into your hair and giggles.

You hope this is all she wanted too.

~~~

On the drive home, Laura holds your hand the whole time and sings along to cheesy, old, romance songs. She makes fun of you when you sing along to a couple of them, but you keep her quite by kissing her quickly so you could quickly pay attention to the road again. She slaps your arm each time you do it but keeps singing.

You never thought you had so many romance cassettes.

~~~

Laura wants to stay quite for a while after you get back. You go to her house every afternoon, except Thursdays, of course. Her dad treats you like family when she tells him about the relationship, but threatens to do not nice things if you were to ever hurt her. You promise that you plan nothing of that. Lafontaine figures out almost immediately. They notice the both of you bumping hands all the time and that when Laura’s story on snapchat has a lot of hands behind pillows, it makes it suspicious. Perry acts like she never knew when you tell her, but she confesses she guessed it would happen.

Danny glares at you whenever she’s around, no matter what you try to say.

~~~

Every once in a while you sneak up through Laura’s window, which she’s confused by because there’s nothing to really climb up on but you tell her you have too keep some air of mystery. At school, you always bump hands still, but she takes it and giggles.

“You don’t have to ask permission to hold my hand, I am your girlfriend.”

You smile, “Girlfriends huh?”

She kisses you and says yes before she running to class.

~~~

When you finally let Laura meet Mattie, it doesn’t go to plan. They end up fighting about what best for you. You mentioned about playing at the coffee shop again and Mattie said no while Laura said yes. You sat there for an hour listening to them before leaving. When you drop Laura back off at her house and drive off before saying goodbye; she texts you a couple times before telling you to come back when you aren’t acting like a brat.

You drive onto back roads and listen to the cassettes from the time you went to the cabin and park at a look out to smoke a pack of cigarettes. You haven’t done that in ages. Mattie calls and tells you Laura was right, that you should play again. It takes you exactly an hour to get to Laura’s house.

You sit on her porch for thirty minutes before her dad tells you to come inside and go tell her.

She’s crying into your leather jacket when you walk into her room. You let her yell at you because you know what you did wasn’t right; when she realizes what she said and how she said it she apologizes and begs you to stay.

You tell her you never could leave. That’s when she tells you that her mother left her father after she was born because she couldn’t handle having a child. That Laura is terrified of loosing everything she loves. She freezes and you tell her that you love her too.

You hold each other that night and hope that all your problems could just disappear when the sun rises.

~~~

A couple weeks later, the coffee shop has an open mic night and Laura convinces you to do it. Lafontaine has to get you onto the stage and they hand you your guitar and run off before you can try to hit them. Most of the people in the shop are staring at you; Laura is sitting at the high top by the window and she gives you a thumbs up. You look down at your guitar before talking. It’s a cheap junior, beat up to hell and back and has a couple classic rock stickers on it. You have to lower the mic stand before starting.

“Uh, hey. I’m Carmilla and I’m going to sing so.” You shrug.

 _Breath deep, breath clear,_ You start, _know that I’m here, know that I’m here, waiting._

You watch your fingers for the first verse, not trusting them to stay steady, but when you started to sing the chorus you looked up at Laura.

_How could a heart like yours, ever love a heart like mine?_

_How could I live before?_

_How could I have been so blind?_

_You opened up my eyes._

~~~

After you finished the song, you walked outside. You leaned against the wall of the ally next to the shop, trying to calm yourself down. You haven’t sang in front of a crowd of people since your father died. You noticed Laura was crying when you walked out, you planned to go right back in after putting your guitar in the truck but ended up here. After a couple minutes you didn’t notice the door of the shop ringing or the sound of footsteps running into you.

You were suddenly surrounded in Laura. She wasn’t wearing a jacket and was holding onto your waist while kissing you. You nudged her backward until the was pushed against the other wall of the ally. You caught her lip between your teeth before pulling back and looking at her.

“What’s up with you?” You whispered.

“Let’s go home and I’ll show you.”

Your breath was caught in your throat when she sauntered off to the car.

~~~

You have been dating Laura for over a year and still had no idea how to do math. You graduated though, and Laura’s speech was sweet, but it felt like an high school movie. How she would look at you when she said something that included love. Lafontaine nudged you and said it wasn’t low-key at all. You both decided on going to the same college, you were to wrapped up in each other to do anything else. There was also something about Laura that told you that she wouldn’t leave.

You knew you couldn’t leave her.

You rented a apartment just off campus, next to a coffee shop. The summer after your first year, you went on a road trip and went everywhere Laura wanted too. You never really cared, as long as you were with her. Living together was just like the trip you took when you first got together. Just a little more roomy and a little more close to each other. She always complained about your seduction eyes when she was working on a paper and questioned why you never did any homework. In the mornings she would wake up to make you breakfast, and if you weren’t up before she left; she left you a note saying something cheesy. It was usually a song lyric from one of the old cassettes.

When you did have to do homework, she would help. Even if it was just lit, she just loved teaching you. When it came to your math, she did most of it.

“Carm, shouldn’t you be working on something?” She asked one day, interrupting one of your sudden make-out sessions.

“Yeah. Maybe I’ll just study you.” You sighed, straddling her.

She moaned, “Not what I meant, but okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed because this was really fun to write.
> 
> If you wanna prompt or something for this au come ask me [ here](http://www.laura-de-karnstein.tumblr.com) . I'd love to write these saps some more.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> [come bother me](http://laura-de-karnstein.tumblr.com/)


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